I Tried Too Hard
I woke up last Friday and lay in bed, just thinking about how I did NOT want to work on my novel that day.
I’m a hard worker (when I don’t have my nose in a book). So I knew something was off if I didn’t want to write.
The thing is, for two or three days before this, I’d spent more of my “writing time” mentally bashing myself for not being good enough to write the story I want to write.
Everything that I’m doing: it feels like I’m not good enough.
(Can you spot the lie that the Enemy feeds me, week in and week out?)
The longer I stayed in bed, the less I felt ready to face that project.
Cue the musical interlude, because then, like someone sprinkling stardust over my head, I realized something.
I can never produce something that is worth more than I am.
My mentor told me this the day my first book came out.
And I knew that he was right, but the thing that I never thought about was this: God made me. I am his masterpiece. God loves and cares for me.
And when I feel like what I’m producing isn’t enough, do I stop and wonder if I’m comparing it to the right things?
Yes, if you compared my writing to one of the great authors (like Alli’s writing in Call It Consequences), there would be so much room for improvement.
But if I compare my handiwork to the handiwork of the God of the universe, I’m always going to come up short.
Maybe you don’t feel like you’re comparing your handiwork to God’s. But isn’t that what perfectionism is?
Only God is perfect. So my writing, and me as a person (except for when God does the work) will never be perfect.
And that is okay.
Because I am valuable apart from my work. No matter how majestic or pitiful my work is, I am a highlight of God’s creation, and he is the one who sets my value.
I hope this encouraged you today, and just in case you’d like to know about it, I’ll share the info about my first book below.
Fantastical Summer
What would you do if you started growing a fluffy tail every time you felt embarrassed?
A mermaid outcast, a girl who can steal stars, and a high schooler suddenly affected by gravity in a gravity-free world—these are just a few of the fantastical premises you’ll find in this collection of short stories.
Weaving classic coming-of-age themes into magical versions of our world, fifteen Christian writers each bring a fresh perspective on childhood, loneliness, and identity.
Save a spot in your beach bag, because this collection of clean, fun summer stories is more than a fluff read. This beautifully brave anthology leads us to ask hard questions while staying grounded in the truth of the Bible. You’ll want to revisit these thought-provoking stories throughout the year.
Don’t miss out on this awesome series of short stories. Guess what! Alli Prince has one in there too 😉
Did you enjoy this post? Every week, I post an article about overcoming the lies of the enemy or my walk with God. Let’s fight against the schemes of the enemy together! Join my newsletter!
Thanks for this, Vella! I really needed this today. This is the lie I struggle with too. Everytime I fall back into sin, the lie that I’m not good enough is at the core of it all. But my value is not tied to my works, but found in the love of my Father for me. Thanks again for the reminder!
And for what’s it worth, I really enjoyed Fantastical Summer 🙂