I can’t play the guitar.

No, really. This isn’t like one of those “oh, I can’t sing” moments where you shyly say how you can’t really sing, and then you belt out Defying Gravity. All “yeaAAAaaAAaah” and pretty like. I really can’t play the guitar.

I know three chords—barely, four, and sure, that’s all you really need to be able to play a song, except for the fact that you also need to be able to switch between those chords during the song. Oh, and strum and sing if you’re leading worship.

I can’t play the guitar… But does that mean I shouldn’t worship?

Story Time

Every Wednesday, my friend Bre opens up the coffee shop special, just for us. We get lattes, and we sit around with our laptops and pound the words out onto our computers. But there’s something about Wednesdays that always leaves me feeling really anxious.

I’m supposed to worship every morning, but somehow along the way, Wednesdays became the day to “catch up” on everything. I wake up early on Wednesdays, and I work late on Wednesdays, and I rarely spend the time to read my Bible or, you know, sing praises to God.

I was convicted of this recently, so Wednesday I decided to bring my guitar and worship before I got into my work. I knew my friends would join me, and I knew in my head that they didn’t need to be able to play it perfectly.

Problem one: I lost my guitar tuner. But, no worries, my pastor had stopped into the shop and he knew how to tune it for me.

Second problem? I tried the first song, and it was a disaster. Wrong chords–long pauses between the chords—and anxious, stuttering laughter followed. Eventually I found my footing with the first song, and went into the second—only to play just as poorly. I strum, open my mouth, and realize I’m in the wrong key. Then I realized I don’t even really know what that word means. I didn’t study music!. What’s a key? Let’s ignore the fact that I took piano for many years. Obviously none of it stuck with me.

My friends laughed with me (thankfully, not at me), and we managed to get through three whole songs with a whole lot of silence, stuttering, and weird not-real-chords-played.

At this point, I’m sort of embarrassed. I knew I didn’t know how to play very well, but I didn’t think I would play that badly either. I thought that there might be one song I could do without awkward pauses or weird chords, sour notes, etc. I hand my friend Beka the guitar (after I totally botched the beginning of Amazing Grace) and gave up. I felt bad. I felt like I was ruining this time of worship for my friends and myself. So much for starting the day by giving my best to Jesus, right?

And then Beka began to play Amazing Grace, and I closed my eyes, and the words rolled over me.

Amazing Grace

Awe-inspiring grace.

Eventually, the four of us (Lucy, Bekah, Bre, and I) were just sitting, eyes closed, singing those words acapella. It made me think about how many brothers and sisters before me sang those same words to Jesus just like I was. Imperfectly, acapella, but with my whole heart. I looked over at one of my friends, and she was crying. Worship can be so powerful, so beautiful.

It didn’t matter that I’d wrecked my way through three other songs like a bull in a china shop. It didn’t matter that I couldn’t really play the guitar, or that I was off a key sometimes, or that I didn’t sing it perfectly. What mattered was my heart.

Your Heart Matters

I’m determined to get better at the guitar, for worship purposes specifically. But what I learned in that moment? I didn’t need to be perfect to be obedient, and I didn’t need to be perfect to inspire a moment with Jesus in someone else. By me being obedient and starting worship, my friend was able to experience a beautiful moment with the Lord.

What are you avoiding, what is God calling you to do that you won’t because you “Can’t“? Can you not play the guitar? Is it writing related? Mission-trip-minded? What are you refusing to do because you have that excuse “I can’t”, rolling around in your head.

I wonder, what would happen if we opened our hearts and minds, let go of this need to be good at something to be obedient, and just trusted that God would get us through it, that God would still use us, and took that step of faith and acted in obedience rather than fear.

Me? I’m afraid of not being perfect. I really like to earn my value through my works. It feels really good to my flesh. I wonder what my week will look like when I give up that “need” for perfection, and trust that God is perfect enough. That God will still use us even if (even when) we make mistakes and mess it up.

What are you afraid of?

Then ask yourself this: Is God afraid of that thing?

Maybe you shouldn’t be either. Just saying.