I am desperate for other people’s approval.
It’s just the truth. Everyone’s got a struggle, right? The moment I think I’ve solved this problem—that I’ve finally surrendered this in my life—I discover a new facet of it that I’d never considered before and have to surrender all over again.
God has a lot to say about this. But did you know that he mentions this in the Christmas story?
Let’s rewind
Way back in June, I was talking with my mentor (these big life-realizations usually come about because of that. Do you want a big life-realization? You should become an apprentice! Click here to find out more.) We were discussing issues I had with my family. You see, my family currently lives 3k miles away from me. There’s a three-hour time difference, and sometimes communication can be…difficult.
Especially considering the fact that I’m one of ten children. It’s nobody fault, really. But I had a heart issue that was causing some strife.
“You want your family’s approval more than God’s.”
That’s what my mentor said. He was right. My family has done literally so much for me. Helping me move to Ohio, supporting me financially, and encouraging me to pursue God and this dream of writing beyond all else. I want them to approve what I’m doing. I want them to be proud of me.
All “okay” things in moderation. But I was completely unbalanced with it. I repented, then and there, of striving for my family’s approval instead of God’s approval.
Three days later, in worship, as I’m giving this up to Jesus at church, I put my hands in the air, closed my eyes, and whispered, “God, I want your approval. I want you to be proud of me. I want to please you. Please, God, tell me…how do I do that?”
Immediately, I felt God’s presence. He grabbed my cheeks with his hands, looked me in the eye, and said, “Alli, you already have it. I’m so proud of you. You’re my daughter. Be at rest. Stop striving and rest in me.”
But what does that have to do with the Christmas Story?
The day before I went back home, I wasn’t feeling much peace. My sister is pregnant with my nephew and could go into labor any day. I’m in a wedding as a bridesmaid. It’s Christmas, and there are dozens of presents that need to be wrapped and put under the tree.
I wanted to feel God’s peace—I know that he gives his beloved rest, right? So why wasn’t I feeling it?
God brought me the answer in the Christmas Story, ironically. It’s right there in Luke 2:14. The angels have just appeared to the Shepards.
“Glory to God in the highest,
Luke 2:14
and on earth peace among those with whom he is pleased!”
Do you see it? I didn’t at first. I was reading Luke, and this verse stood out to me. I stopped, wondering why it had jumped out at me. But it’s there, right at the end. On Earth, peace among those with whom he is pleased.
It struck me that, in all the songs, we never include that last bit. It’s always just “Peace on Earth”, right? I’d completely forgotten this verse and had ended up replacing it with the song lyrics instead.
We, who God is pleased with, are promised peace. How cool is that?
Immediatly the thought that followed was this: He is pleased with me. But the moment I reject that? The moment I decide God can’t possibly be pleased with me, and that I have to earn that, that I have to strive and work for it? That’s when I reject his peace. That’s when I decide his love isn’t good enough, and I lose my access to that peace.
Who are you trying to please?
Is it your family? Friends? The people who bullied you in school, or the extended cousins, grandparents, aunts, and uncles who make judgey comments during the holidays? Or is it God?
Do you know you already have that approval? That you don’t need to strive and work and pull out your teeth just to gain God’s attention? Do you know he already loves you?
I have a challenge for you. Rest in that approval. Sit back, close your eyes, and ask God how he thinks you’re doing with life. Don’t answer for him. Don’t tell him how you think you’re doing at this whole “life” thing. See what he says. 🙂 I have a feeling you’ll do better than you think.
Lorraine struggles a lot with striving and doing things in her own strength in my new book, Call It Consequences. My release team is almost full, but there are still a few spots available! Get ready for this thrilling Time Travel novel and join my release team today!
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