What would you do if you met yourself from the past?
This is a fun ice-breaker type of question. Every time it’s asked, I have the same answer. What would I do if I met teenage Alli? Oh, I’d give her a good sock to the jaw. I’d fight my past self. We’d pull each other’s hair, she’d try to bite me, and I’d shove her head in a toilet. No questions asked. I’d take one look at her and fight her.
I get the same reaction every time. Horrified expressions, hand over mouth as they gasp.
“But—she’s just a child!” They say. “She can’t help the pain she’s in.”
Maybe that’s why I wrote a whole time-travel novel about this question.
What would you do if your twelve-year-old self came to you from the past?
Would you give that twelve-year-old a hug? Would you tell them everything was going to be okay and that they’d get through it? Would your twelve-year-old self even accept that?
I know who I was at twelve. I was loud, obnoxious, and always had a quip or sarcastic comment to say to someone, no matter the situation. I was bold. I was rebellious. I was so many things.
I was hurt. Sometimes, I’ll look back to my past, to the painful memories and the things that made me change who I was…and then I’ll look at a picture of that girl and think, “How could they have done that?”
How could they have said I was better off not alive? How could they have said I was ugly and fat and not good at anything? How could they have told me I’d never amount to anything? Just look at this face.
Now, you’re probably thinking, “Alli…you are so right. So why would you punch her!?”
Because, for a long time, I agreed with what those people said about me.
I agreed with the lies they spoke over me. I agreed that I was better off not trying. I wouldn’t amount ot anything, anyway, what would be the point? Why try?
Then I moved to Cambridge, OH, and met a few people who decided to challenge those beliefs. My mentor, mainly. For the past four years that I’ve lived here, he’s challenged my viewpoints in a way no one ever has before. He and my wonderful friends in my church have poured into me. Without realizing it, they showered that twelve-year-old girl inside me with the love and affection she so desperately craved, yet refused to seek.
If you were to ask me what I would do now, if I met my past self, I’d probably still say that I’d punch her, just for the giggles and shock an answer like that produces…but what I’d actually do? I’d hold onto her, tight, so tight she couldn’t get away, and I’d tell her she was important. Then I’d probably go on to write a book about it because apparently that’s just what I do.
Speaking of books… I wrote about what would happen if I met my twelve-year-old self. Twice now, actually.
Call It Consequences, a #1 New Release!
What would you do if your 12-year-old self showed up and told you that you had to travel back in time to save your dead mother’s life?
Lorraine’s mother died almost a decade ago, and her life has been spiraling out of control ever since. If it’s not the grief or her aloof father who won’t give up his pointless time travel experiments, then it’s the mysterious man in black who always seems to be watching her.
Does that mean it’s up to Lorraine to fix everything? Lorraine’s an artist, not a mathematician. With only her unwitting boyfriend for help, how will she ever accomplish what her genius parents never could? More importantly, will she be able to keep it a secret from the strange government forces following her?
The Truth
Despite what I used to think, I am important. I do have value. I thought, for a long time, that I was moving on, putting the past behind me. But I was secretly stuffing it into a mason jar and shoving it into the back of my fridge. Slowly, it was building pressure. I’d have to move it when I needed something, and the sight of it would infuriate me.
This book represents everything. As a friend recently put it, this book is just grief, obsession, bad plans, and the slow realization that every action leaves a mark. It’s about forgiveness—of the people who hurt you and yourself. It’s about God’s ever-reaching, all-encompassing, redeeming love.
Call It Consequences is already a #1 New Release! So go check it out here. I promise you, you won’t want to miss this: https://amzn.to/3LJlRN8