I wasn’t excited when we first published Lawless.

A lot of stress led up to Lawless’s release on January 18th, 2024. We had many issues with the pre-ordered books and many more with the proofreading and book design leading up to the release. By the time ‘book release crazy’ died down and we started to get back into regular work, I was exhausted. I looked around at the work I’d done and all I had accomplished and was struck with a question.

Am I even supposed to be doing this?

I’ve been writing for as long as I can remember. Even before I could put words on the page, I was creating stories and acting out massive emotionally driven plots with my Webkinz. To me, creating stories was to breathe. I couldn’t exist without it.

But then I grew up. Life and responsibilities came my way and by the time I was eighteen, though I was still writing, I’d put the dream of being an author behind me. It wasn’t practical and I didn’t find value in my ideas anymore. Then God called me to Ohio (if you want to hear more about that, check out the podcast I was on).

I rediscovered my dreams to be a writer. My passion for storytelling. God directed me to The Company, and I dove right in, pressing deeper and further into the program, striving to get closer and closer to God. I completed my first year of the apprenticeship and was ready to dive right into my second year.

Then, the things I was doing, the stuff I was accomplishing, got harder. I felt like I was getting behind. That I wasn’t doing enough.

I felt like I was failing my second year of the apprenticeship.

Have you ever felt like that?

Have you ever questioned if your passions were selfish desires of your heart or God-given? Maybe you’re an artist, or perhaps you want to make movies. Maybe your desires aren’t ‘creative’ but instead are things like being a parent, getting married, or having a particular job.

How do you know those things are put on your heart because Jesus hid them there?

I sat with my mentor, Brad Pauquette, and asked him the question that had wriggled into the forefront of my mind. I knew I had been called to Ohio for a reason, that God wouldn’t bring me this far just to abandon me now. But I questioned my role in His plans for me.

Brad and I sat together. We talked it out and we made a list of pros and cons. By the time we finished, I realized that the pros far outweighed the cons.

Just Start Asking!

If you truly trust God, you’ll trust Him with the passions in your heart. There’s no better steward of your desires than Jesus. If you think you’re called to be a writer, simply start asking God if you are!

Maybe He’ll answer you verbally. Maybe He’ll put someone in your life who can point it out to you, like Brad did for me. Or maybe He wants you to take the first step, to reach out and see if this is something you’re called to (a great way to do that is to apply to The Company!)

You have to get through the trial to get to the promises of God. It’s going to be hard sometimes, and you’ll probably cry a little (or a lot), but if you never ask, if you never press in, you’ll never know.

What are you asking God about?


Another great way to become a better writer is to be a better reader! Check out my free short story!

Upgrade your Joy!

Sign up with your email and I will send you a free devotional, once a day for five days. Together, we’ll explore five different areas of our faith and what joy there is to be found in them!

You've subscribed! Thanks!