If there’s one day a year that negativity is encouraged the most, it’s Valentine’s day. Especially if you’re single like me.
Socially, it becomes acceptable and in fact encouraged to be the most desperate, negative, and critical person you can be. We’re allowed to disparage the couples around us and gag when they show affection. We get to perpetrate lies of the enemy like ‘nobody loves me’ and ‘I’m completely alone in the world’. Instead of challenging those view points with truth, we laugh and say ‘lol same’.
Aren’t you tired of it? I am. I mean, think of the opportunity this is. What a foil our joy becomes when compared to the depraved cynicism Valentine’s day brings!
But, it does beg the question… What do we do?
It’s hard! I mean, I’m sad that I’m single. Sometimes, I want cuddles and to be loved on and have someone to tell me they adore me. Sometimes it would be fantastic if someone gave me one of those silly stuffed animals from Walmart, or buy me chocolate, or gets me flowers. How am I supposed to have joy when faced with all these things?
It’s not easy. I’ve been single for twenty-three years, going on twenty-four (and depending on how old you are, that’s either really old or really young). I’ve found a couple things that not only make Valentine’s day easier to bare, but in fact, enjoyable!
So, here we go.
1. Don’t compare yourself
Some people are single and some people aren’t. At our core, we’re all the same, no matter if we have a relationship or not. You are a whole human being. Your relationship status doesn’t determine this. The easiest way to shoot your joy straight in the face is to compare what you do or do not have.
2. Focus on the good aspects!
Listen. There are good things about being single. Whether you choose to focus on how you’re saving money, being productive, whatever it is. Go out. Find the joy. Choose what you’re going to be positive about. Sometimes its as simple as choosing joy that can get us out of a negative spiral.
3. Stay connected with your friends
Do something! Go out with your single friends and have a party or do something silly! My friends and I are writing each other secret admirer letters and then guessing who wrote which letter. Then, we’re attending a valentine’s murder mystery party. On a day all about love, loneliness can swing at you full force. Don’t welcome it to stay and settle in your heart. There are so many things that you could come up with to do. Go out and do them!
4. Sit with God in this.
1 Peter 5:7 (NLT) Cast all your worries and cares on God, for He cares for you.
He knows how your heart hurts. No matter how silly you think it is, or how depressed you are in this time in your life, He knows and He cares. Talk to him about it. Sit with him. Ask Him why this bothers you or what you can do to find joy here. Tell him about the loneliness.
Talk with Him.
5. Accept that it’s okay to want a relationship!
Sometimes, we have to accept we don’t feel great about something to be able to move past it. It’s hard to be single when everyone around you seems to be in a happy, healthy, relationship. It’s alright to be upset about it! Allow yourself to feel what you need to feel. Then take a deep breath, and choose Joy.
Valentine’s day is a wonderful opportunity. To share our love with our significant other, or to share the love we have for our friends and the important people in our life. On a day all about love, you’d think we the Christian would be all over it, sharing the best love we’ve ever experienced with everyone!
So, Happy Valentine’s day and remember; God adores you.
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Who in your life are you most thankful for today? Comment below!