The Negative Connotations…

I find that the word ‘control’ has such a negative connotation to it. We use it to describe people that exasperate us. “They’re so controlling” or “What a control-freak”. Or, I find we can use it to dismiss our friends in times of struggle and strife.

“You just need to let go and let God.”

Now, don’t get me wrong. That’s super needed. God has the ultimate control over every single aspect of our lives.

But God also gave us agency. We have free-will, or ‘control’, in specific areas. Sometimes, and this is where I fall short, we so want to avoid becoming a ‘control-freak’, that we end up falling into the pit on the opposite side of the path and become placid instead. With all things, there’s a balance.

An Interesting Conversation

My mentor and I were having a conversation about this the other day. He pointed out that I viewed life like this: The people around me, my circumstances, God, ect. Are a river and I’m a boat. The currents push and pull, and I must flow wherever it takes me.

When someone acts cold towards me, I must flow through that and see what I did to make them mad, figure out how to flow over the sudden rapids in my path. When a situation doesn’t turn out how I wanted to, I can’t be disappointed, I just have to shove down the negativity and flow with the current.

Then he looked at me and said, “Alli, you’re not the boat. You’re the wind.”

“But what does the wind have to do with the river?” I asked.

“Nothing! That’s exactly the point.” He told me. The wind pushes the sails of the boat. Sometimes it won’t be strong enough to determine where the boat goes, and it doesn’t set the course of the river, but the currents (the people in my life, my circumstances, ect.) don’t have complete control over the vessel. I have a say. I have a voice.

God Gave Us Free-Will

I have control over how the enemy’s lies affect me. Am I going to sit there and take it when he dares to tell me my God doesn’t love me? Will I lay down and spiral into a ‘woe is me’ pity-party when the enemy whispers that my friends don’t love me, and that everyone hates me? Or will I push my boat in a different direction and challenge the insecurities he’s poking at? Set my foot down, square my shoulders and fight.

Like I said before, there’s a balance to this. Sometimes the currents are stronger. Sometimes, I do have to let go and just give God the space to do the work. I can’t control other people, or what they think about me, or even say about me.

But sometimes, I think God is waiting for us to take a step. To use our free-will. To see exactly how much we can affect the world around us.

Isn’t that such a joy?

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